


At a not so silent night

by KaylenaKey



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Fear, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Panic, References to Drugs, Sad TK Strand, Sad with a Happy Ending, Worried Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), mention of suicide, warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:48:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28603209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaylenaKey/pseuds/KaylenaKey
Summary: During a night shift, Carlos sees a figure about to jump off of a bridge. He rushes to the rescue, but has to realize that the stranger was no other person than the one he fell in love with.Warning! Be advised. This contains multiple mentions of suicide, if that triggers you in any way, please don't read this.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 14
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's me again with my second fanfiction :)
> 
> I'll put this in my notes to every fic so that you're not confused: English is not my first language and I'm sorry for any mistakes.  
> I just love writing about these two (and the show in general) so why not share it with all of you :)
> 
> Every feedback is highly appreciated.  
> Enjoy!

It was a silent night for Officer Reyes, just how he liked his shifts to be, even though he would be lying if he said that a little action wasn't exhilarating sometimes. He was on patrol for almost three hours now, but it seemed like criminals were lazy today. So he just drove around to stop himself from falling asleep due to total boredom. His oh-so silent night just decided not to be so silent after all, when he stopped the car in front of a bridge after seeing a man climbing to the other side of the railing.

He almost didn't see him, the guy being dressed all black in a dark hoodie and black joggers. The white sneakers, shining in the lamp post a few feet away, gave him away though.

Without waisting another second, Carlos stepped out of his cruiser, making his way to the other man in fast but careful steps. It didn't take him long to realize how violently the dark figure was shaking, looking down, only holding himself up by his hands which were clutching the railing. Carlos decided to just talk to the man, trying on a calm voice not to startle him. "Sir..."

The sobbering man turned his head in Carlos' direction frantically, and Carlos' breath hitched.

In front of him, on the other side of that railing, stood T.K.!  
Named person didn't take long to register who was talking to him either, and if it was even possible, he started shaking even more. "Oh you gotta be kidding me!", he whispered, but no undertone could be heard from his draining voice.

"T.K., what the hell are you doing, get away from there!", Carlos said, disbelief clear in his voice. He moved forward to grab his boyfriend, but T.K. flinched away. "No. Please Carlos, I need to do this! Just go. I'm begging you." Tears glistened in his pleading eyes and Carlos knew that he was serious about this. "Are you insane? I'm not going anywhere. And I'm not watching you die either. So grab my hand and come over here", he practically ordered. T.K. just shook his head, keeping his eyes on Carlos while also looking back down.

Carlos risked a quick glance down himself, calculating how deep the fall would be. He noticed that there was no water down there where a subsidiary stream should be flowing. The extreme heat of the Texas summer died it out. He didn't know if T.K. had planned this or if it just was a bad coincidence.

He tried to keep a calm voice as he spoke again: "T.K., listen to me. Whatever it is, we can figure it out. But this-this is not the way to do it. You don't want to do this." "How do you know what I want?", T.K. screamed in his face and Carlos flinched a little. "I'm so sorry Carlos! I just keep hurting people, and I'm sick of it. I just wanna stop feeling this pain!" T.K. closed his eyes shut, and Carlos noticed how he tripped lightly, and for a moment he was scared that that would be it. That that was the moment he would jump. But T.K. caught himself. Carlos exhaled.

"Listen tiger, we will figure it out. I will help you. Please don't do this. I need you here with me." For a while, there came no response from T.K., only his sniffles being heard. He was staring down again, not moving at all. Then he let out a huff, and Carlos could see the slightest smile on his lips before it turned to a frown. "I remember the first time you called me that. And how I screwed up our first date afterwards. God, I am such a fuck-up!" "You are not." "Yes I am!" And again T.K. was raising his voice, switching his gaze to the police officer. But it wasn't anger, Carlos knew that.

It was fear. Panic.

"I took drugs. I couldn't help it. I'm so weak!", T.K. cried, after he had calmed down. Carlos closed his eyes tightly. He had already guessed it, but he had held onto that thin string of hope that he was wrong. "Everything will be alright T.K., I promise. Just please let me help you", Carlos reassured, and almost begged him to climb back on the safe side of the railing. T.K. gave him a frantic look, deciding on what to do.

Jumping would be so easy. Just letting himself fall, knowing he wouldn't feel the impact with the bottom because he'd be dead immediately. It would be painless. He didn't have to fight anymore. It would be easy! But he knew that he couldn't let Carlos watch that. And the man would not leave his side. He couldn't do that to the person he loved so much. It wouldn't be right.

So, after a last glance down, he turned fully towards Carlos, grabbing his offering hand and climbed back right into his boyfriend's waiting arms. From the sheer force of it all, they fell down onto the floor, Carlos hovering over him and holding him tight while T.K. cried his heart out. 

If passengers walked by in that moment and didn't see Carlos' uniform, they'd probably think he was about to rape him, Carlos thought, judging by the position they were in, but he couldn't care less. He was just so happy to have the man in his arms.

After Carlos managed to calm T.K. down a bit, he seated him into the passenger's seat of his patrol car, ready to drive the shaken-up man home, but T.K. stopped him. "Please don't. My dad is at work." "Okay, then I'll drive you to the station", Carlos replied simply, turning on the ignition. "Carlos please. Give me this one night. I will tell him tomorrow about this, okay, but not tonight. I don't want him to see me like this." They stared into each others eyes for a moment before Carlos replied: "He needs to know about this." "And he will. Just... not tonight. Okay?" Carlos looked out the window, deciding what to do, before he shifted his gaze back on T.K., eyebrows raised as he said: "I'm not gonna leave you alone now. So I'll rather be driving you to Grace now or you'll come with me to the police station. I have some paperwork to do there and I can't finish my shift before I got it done." "Can I just come with you?", T.K. asked shyly and Carlos nodded. "Alright, buckle up."

When they arrived at the officer's desk, T.K. sat down next to him. Carlos couldn't help but think back to the last time he sat there, in handcuffs and an icepack clutched to his face, after he'd initiated a bar fight. And how Carlos called him out on his 'suicidal behaviour'. Now he could just shake his head at that, hoping that T.K. wasn't thinking the same thing. But he seemed to be occupied by the try to get himself warmed up, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. It wasn't hard to miss his shaking, the cop guessed it probably was due to withdrawal, since it was one of the hottest nights in Austin. So he grabbed his APD jacket from his stool and put it around his boyfriend's shoulders.

Afterwards he got up, gave T.K. a soft kiss on his forehead and headed into the kitchen area to make them both a cup of coffee. His chief came up to him shortly after, while Carlos was still waiting for the coffee to finish. "Hey, what's going on with your boyfriend over there. Is he alright?" Carlos propped his elbows up on the kitchen island while studying T.K. on the other side of the room. He sighed. "No. He really isn't. I'm sorry if it's a problem that he's here. I didn't know where else to take him." "Nah, don't worry about it. But I'm not so sure that this is the best place for him to be in order to feel better." His chief let out the slightest laugh. "Yeah, I only have two and a half hours left of my shift, after that I'll take him home." The coffee was finally finished and Carlos sent her a last nod before heading back to his desk.

He placed one cup in front of T.K. before sitting down, starting to sip on his own. T.K. mumbled a quiet "thanks" before Carlos started on the reports he had to finish.

T.K. was left with his thoughts. He didn't want to talk to anyone about how he was feeling, but at the same time he felt like screaming it out, desperate for attention, for anyone to see how much he was hurting. But he was too proud for that. Too altruistic to admit that he needed help. He didn't want to bother anyone.

Not his dad, who had a lot on his plate with his cancer already.  
Not his team, which shouldn't be thinking about him as this weak.  
Not Carlos, who he knew loved him dearly, who just told him half an hour ago that he will help him through this, who more than once proved him that he is still undeterred after he had learned so much about T.K.'s past. And still, he felt like a burden to him.

After T.K. finished his coffee, he spent a fair amount of time looking inside his cup, turning it around lazily, watching the ring of coffee that's left inside following his movement. Carlos admitted that it made him feel tense, like Michelle's nervous foot-bouncing whenever she had been waiting for news on her missing sister, but he didn't mention it. He knew it would just freak his boyfriend even more out, making him feel worse than he already was.

When Carlos was halfway through his paperwork, he heard his chief calling him. "Reyes, I need to talk to you real quick." The man in question raised from his chair and made his way over to her. "I want you to take the last two hours of your shift off. I can't watch this any longer, just take your boy home and take care of him." Carlos was confused by that. "I still have to finish my paperwork, I can't just..." "I will take care of it", she interrupted him. Carlos was a bit taken aback by that, not exactly knowing if she was joking or not. "Are you serious about this?" But she just put her hand on his shoulder and said: "Reyes, you are one of our best officers out there and you never asked for a day off. Not once. And your boyfriend over there looks like he's about to jump off a cliff. It's okay. Really." Carlos winces silently at her choice of words, but appreciated the concern, so he thanked her and went back to pick T.K. up.

"Come on, we're leaving", Carlos announced while closing the last file he was working on. "What? I thought you had another two hours to go?" "Well, apparently my chief wants me to take the rest of the night off, so I'm free to go", he answered while taking the cup from T.K.'s hand and putting it into the dishwasher in the kitchen, along with his own. He then returned to his desk to grab his remaining stuff before heading out of the police station with his boyfriend by his side.

The drive to Carlos' house was quiet, T.K. almost falling asleep. Carlos was wondering how he even managed to stay up that long, remembering that T.K. has had an early shift today. That's why they didn't stay awake that long anymore, deciding to talk tomorrow.

Tomorrow Carlos would accompany T.K. on telling his dad. They would decide on where to go from there. If they needed to stock up on therapy sessions for him. How to handle his relapse. And whether he needed some time off to focus on his mental health. Which was probably a no-go for T.K. who loved his job so dearly.

But for now, all that mattered to Carlos was to hold his boyfriend in his arms, being reassured that he was alive, and hoping that he could, just for this night, make the pain go away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his failed suicide attempt, T.K. has to cope with withdrawals and prepares how to tell his father about it.  
> Carlos helps him, being the caring boyfriend T.K. loves so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, here's to part 2!
> 
> Big thank you to @ihrtmlc for the idea. Honestly, I'm thinking about turning this into a series lmao.
> 
> Sorry if my english is horrible in this, I wrote most of it at 3 in the morning.
> 
> Let me know what you think and if you would be up for a part 3 where we find out how T.K. copes with the changes.
> 
> Well, I don't have more to say.  
> Enjoy :)

T.K. woke up feeling like shit the next morning. Flashbacks from yesterday started shooting through his mind even before he had the chance to open his eyes properly.

He had taken drugs.  
Then he tried to kill himself.  
Carlos found him and talked him out of it.

He needed to tell his dad today. Oh God. He knew how mad the man would be getting. Actually, mad was probably the wrong word. Disappointed. He would be getting disappointed.  
Not that that was any better.

T.K. opened his eyes to see that Carlos was not there. He looked at the watch on the nightstand: 1:21pm. Damn, I slept late, he thought.  
He pulled the covers off of his body, feeling the cold air hit his naked feet. He made his way out of the bed in search for his boyfriend.

But he couldn't ignore the muscle cramps he was feeling. Yay, his first withdrawal symptom. It was going to be a long day.

T.K. could still not believe that he had relapsed. Yeah, the increasing need to use was a clear sign for that, but he tried to figure out what had brought him so over the edge that he couldn't help it.

But then he remembered. It had been his and Alex' anniversary yesterday. Or, would have been. And for most of the day, he didn't even think about it. Alex was in the past. He didn't care about him anymore. He didn't even think about him.

...Until Alex texted him. He had asked him where he was, that he missed him. How it was their anniversary and they should celebrate it together.

At first T.K. had to laugh, wondering how stupid his ex thought he was. Then he had considered texting him back. Afterwards, he wishes he didn't. But he did, telling Alex off, reminding him about how he'd be with his Mitchell now.

Only apparently, Alex and Mitchell weren't a thing anymore. And now he wanted to go back to him. But he told him that he's in another state now, happily together with someone and that he doesn't have any interest in Alex any longer.

A few minutes later, Alex had called him. And T.K. made his second mistake. He answered. Just to listen to Alex talking about how much of a fuck-up he is, that nobody could ever replace him because he is oh-so perfect, and that one day T.K. would crawl back to him anyway.  
He had insulted him for at least 10 minutes, and T.K. had wanted to hang up so badly, but suddenly he had found himself back in New York, in some dark alley where he was waiting for his dealer so that he could escape for a while. And he couldn't bring himself to hang up. Suddenly, he felt like he deserved to hear all that.

He couldn't help but think that he failed Alex. That it was his fault after all that they didn't work out. He had been the one with all those problems. The one that didn't put enough effort into their relationship.

And with Carlos he was probably doing the same!

So that day T.K. found himself not being able to concentrate for the rest of his shift. Two people in a bad accident almost died because of him being distracted, so his dad had sent him home. Owen knew exactly what date it had been. What he didn't know was that T.K. didn't go to Carlos' place, like he had told him, but went out to find a dealer that could give him some oxys.

Of course he found one. T.K. was an expert on finding drug dealers, especially when he was determined. He was able to stop himself after two pills, but two were enough.

Enough for him to decide that he wanted to end his life.

T.K. winced at that. He was being so stupid. He really needed help. But first he needed to find Carlos.  
He made his way out of the bedroom and tiptoed along the hallway into the kitchen. He found Carlos sitting on the couch in the living area, looking up at him once he noticed him.

"Hey...", T.K. said shyly, not knowing how to act in front of the man that kept him from killing himself just the day before.

"Hey. How are you doing?", Carlos asked, getting up from the couch to join him in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around him.

"Like shit." There was no way for him to hide it, so he didn't even bother to try.

"Here, I got you some Clonidine. I read that it helps a lot with the withdrawals. I don't really know much about them, maybe you can tell me what helps you the most?", Carlos placed a packet of meds in his hands, trying to be helpful as ever.

T.K. looked down onto it, smiling softly. "That's really thoughtful of you. Thank you. Clonidine helps a lot actually. But what's most important for me is that someone's with me, really. That was the biggest struggle in New York. I was alone a lot there, and therefore I was more tempted to go out and get some more pills because there was nobody to stop me. To take care of me."

"Well, I promise I won't leave your side until you don't feel the need to use anymore. I already took the next two days off."

T.K. looked up at him, surprised. "What? You didn't have to do-" "No, I don't wanna hear it! I will be here for you, baby. You can't continue going through this alone."

"You're right. Thank you. No one has ever done that for me."

Carlos pulled him against himself once again, kissing him on the nose before answering: "Of course. I will always be there for you. I love you."

"I love you too Carlos. So much!", T.K. admitted, he got a bit emotional when he was hugging Carlos. The love he had for that man was undescribable.

"Baby, we still need to have that talk with your dad today."

T.K. tensed against him and Carlos noticed that, pulling him away slightly. "You can't keep this from him T.K., and you know we'll have to do something about this. This was your second suicide attempt this year. I don't know how to sugercoat this, but you need help. Professional help."

The younger man drove his hand through his hair, tugging harshly. "I know...", he simply said, feeling the nervousness deep in his stomach rising up his throat, and suddenly he felt like he was going to be sick.

Carlos took his hand and led it away from his hair so that the boy would stop hurting himself. "Hey, you know you'll have me and your dad at your side at all times. Your team probably too. It is going to be okay, I can promise you so much! I really think this is the right step to go."

T.K. nodded, trying to figure out what that would mean for him.

◄ ◊ ► ◄ ◊ ► ◄ ◊ ► ◄ ◊ ► ◄ ◊ ►

When they arrived at his house that afternoon, T.K. felt that he was unable to move. How was he supposed to tell his father that it happened again? The pain he was still feeling from his withdrawal didn't help his situation either.

He didn't realize that Carlos had gotten out of the car until he was opening T.K.'s door suddenly, crouching down in front of him. "Hey baby, you here with me?"

T.K.'s gaze wandered to his boyfriend by his side, taking him in. He nodded absently, reaching to unbuckle himself.

Even the walk to the front door of the house felt unreal to him. Like those weren't his own legs making their way to the front porch.

And when Owen opened the door after what felt like hours, and saw the look on Carlos' face mixed with his son avoiding to look at him, he knew.

He knew just about everything.

Yet, it was no surprise that after two hours they were still sitting in the living room, deciding on where to go from here.

Owen was being persistent that T.K. should go to rehab for a while, much to the man's dismay.  
Carlos on the other hand wanted him to check into a mental hospital, certain that the drugs wouldn't be a problem once his depression was being cared for.

T.K. didn't like any of the ideas. He knew that both would require to take time off from work, and he didn't want that. Work had been like a safe haven for him.  
Then there's the thing about visiting. If he went into either one, there would be strict visiting hours. He didn't know if he could handle being away from the people he loved for so long.

But from the looks of it, it wasn't his decision to make. They haven't been given him a chance to speak for the past 30 minutes, obviously not caring how his opinion on this was.

So he let his mind wander, not longer concentrating on the conversation in front of him. 

His mind never disappointed him in telling him how useless he was. He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him being so weak. His head just screamed at him to run out the door now, to go back to that dark alley and ask his dealer for another pill. He could just disappear afterwards. Leave town, go somewhere no one would find him. So that they could stop worrying about him, stop making it their task to make things right. His head was screaming at him.

And soon, the voices became too loud, too overwhelming for him to understand, and he just screamed "STOP!"  
Luckily, the voices stopped. But.. all of them did. Owen and Carlos had stopped talking too, looking at him worried.

T.K. looked up at them, just whispering a quiet "Please help me!" before collapsing off the sofa, crying like he had never cried before.

◄ ◊ ► ◄ ◊ ► ◄ ◊ ► ◄ ◊ ► ◄ ◊ ►

A few days later and here he was - in an office of a mental health clinic. On both of his sides were his father and boyfriend seated, both looking expectantly at the man in front of him, sitting behind his desk.  
"Alright Mr. Strand, my name is Dr. Moore, I'm your assigned psychologist for the time being.  
Now, I will tell you all you need to know about your first few days here. First, here is a checklist on what you should pack. Any wires or cords, anything like that will be taken from you when you enter, because of the ligature risk, so you better don't even pack them."

Damn, that guy was straight-forward, T.K. couldn't help but think.

"So, when you're arriving here tomorrow at 2pm, the first thing we'll do is get you settled in your room. You'll have a bed and a drawer in your room. You'll just spent your nights and if you want to, your free time in there.  
Breakfast starts in the mornings at 8 o'clock, at 1pm you can eat lunch and at 6pm begins dinner.  
Next point is the therapies. Your first one starts tomorrow at 7:30pm and will take an hour. After that one we're scheduling the next."

"What about visiting. Are we allowed to do that?", Owen interrupted his rehearsed speech.

"The first 72 hours are restricted. That's the protocol. No visits, no phone calls. After that, you are allowed to visit him on Sundays between 2 and 4pm."

"Wait, seriously? They're only allowed to visit me once a week?", T.K. protested.

"They are allowed to call you everyday. But we need to make sure the visiting doesn't intervere with our schedule."

T.K. huffed out a laugh. How was he going to go through this without his dad and Carlos by his side?

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. You can call us anytime", Carlos tried to reassure him, but it didn't help his situation much. Why had he agreed to this?

The doctor just dropped it and continued: "For the start, you'll be staying here for a month. After that time, I will have a meeting with you where I decide if you're ready to leave yet or not. If I decide that you are not, we'll extend it to another month. Any questions?"

"So I won't be able to leave this place at all? What if there's an emergency? Listen, my dad has cancer, can I-" "Son, this is not about me. I will be fine, I promise. Now, for once, please focus on your own health, okay?"

"But I've been there for your chemo therapy since I found out about it, I haven't missed them once, and now-" T.K. was yet again cut off by his father: "-And now it's time for you to focus on your own therapies. I'll be fine."

T.K. just looked at him blankly. He was pissed. He didn't want to do this. Of course, he had admitted that he needed help and agreed with their choice, but to that time he didn't know with how many changes that would come.

"Alright. Now to the last point for today: the contract.  
If you sign this, you agree for your stay here for as long as needed, to give me full control on deciding how long your stay is necessary and for my team to take personal things away from you if they feel that you could put yourself in danger through them."

He laid the papers out in front of T.K. and offered him a pen. T.K. picked it up shakily, reading through it. He had to discover that they really had a lot of rules in that place. He was unsure.

The young man didn't notice that he started foot-bouncing until Carlos put his hand on his knee, stopping him from continuing. T.K. looked up at him, remembering that he wasn't alone here.

"It will be okay. It's just for a month. You can do this T.K.!"

The man in question just looked at him, then he nodded. Carlos was right. T.K. would show that doctor that he was fine and he'd let him go after that month. It would be fine.

With one last sigh, T.K. picked up the pen and set his signature down on the paper.


End file.
